I Can’t Tell If Baker Mayfield Is My Hero Or A Guy I’d Like To Punch In The Face (Which I Don’t Know How To Do)

If you’ve been watching HBO’s Hard Knocks so far you know that outside everyone’s clear disdain for Head Coach, Hue Jackson, the focal point of the series is 1st overall pick, Baker Mayfield. Now before I get going, let me be clear, I LOVE Baker Mayfield. From his first whip (this was listed as “dougey” until I googled what dance it was.) To his trash … Continue reading I Can’t Tell If Baker Mayfield Is My Hero Or A Guy I’d Like To Punch In The Face (Which I Don’t Know How To Do)

I Need To Stop Getting Excited For The Hall Of Fame Game

Well that was a waste of time.  It happens every year. I try to maintain my expectations but no matter what, when the NBC music comes on, my feet start tapping wildly like Restless Leg Syndrome is a real disorder. I always think it’s going to be like Christmas, and it is, if it was during the Great Depression and your mom couldn’t get out … Continue reading I Need To Stop Getting Excited For The Hall Of Fame Game

Where Will Jon Gruden Get Traded This Time, And When?

Mark Davis has to be figuring out what most of us have known all along. Jon Gruden is not going to work out. It takes a really special coach to isolate a key member of the organization, especially when it seems as logical as… well… paying Jon Gruden 100 million dollars to coach your football team. The only coach I can think of in recent … Continue reading Where Will Jon Gruden Get Traded This Time, And When?

Whose Dick Does Aaron Donald Have to Suck To Be A Multimillionaire?

What did Todd Gurley in 3 years and Brandon Cooks in 3 months do that Aaron Donald couldn’t do in 4 years? You’d assume a team that’s trying to really turn into the skid of tinsel town with their stud head coach and GM who should be a L’Oréal hair model would try to keep the best defensive player in the league. You might say … Continue reading Whose Dick Does Aaron Donald Have to Suck To Be A Multimillionaire?

Who Does America Root For If It’s A Warriors Raptors Final?

Well it’s done. The absurd odyssey between Kawhi Leonard and the San Antonio Spurs is finally over. In a move that would have shocked people a week ago, Leonard was dealt to half the US’s favorite country during an election year, Canada. The result is a super team of Leonard, Kyle Lowry, the ghost of Vince Carter, and Drake. What a force to be reckoned … Continue reading Who Does America Root For If It’s A Warriors Raptors Final?

Tennis Has An Adderall Problem

If you’re like me, your bosses are out for the day and to cope with the monotony of cube life, you fired up ESPN Watch to catch the Wimbledon Semi-Final between Kevin Anderson and John Isner. Holy shit what a match. If you haven’t seen HBO’s “Seven Days In Hell” starring Andy Samberg and Kit Harrington, I recommend you don’t. It’s highly overrated. That aside, … Continue reading Tennis Has An Adderall Problem

Where In The Hell Is Dez Bryant?

It’s been months since Dez Bryant was kind of surprisingly let go from the Dallas Cowboys, and he still hasn’t signed. That’s ridiculous, right? I know that people love citing how many drops he had last year, I know his numbers haven’t fully justified his contract, I know he’s become more of a prototype asshole than a prototype receiver, but if the NFL has proven … Continue reading Where In The Hell Is Dez Bryant?