PYONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA – Seoul, we have a problem. It turns out that Delta failing to upgrade the USA Men’s gold medal winning Curling Team to first class was the least of their problems. “We honestly forgot the Olympics were going on after Shaun White won gold last month.” (It was three months ago) said a spokesman for Delta. When pressed further on the matter, he responded, “We just kind of spaced out after that Adam Rippon guy. Everyone was talking about him then he got, like, 10th place. Did you keep paying attention.?”
Since the announcement, Olympics fans have taken to twitter to not only disparage the airline company for their lapse in concentration, but also to make sure the athletes are alright. Unfortunately, most of those athletes didn’t compete this year.
Despite the bleak times, many are finding the positives. “I mean yeah, after a while the bomb drill sirens are just part of the daily routine.” Said luger, Tucker West.
As of this writing, flights are currently en route to bring the USA athletes home safe and sound. In the midst of this PR disaster, Delta CEO, Edward Bastian has said, “We deeply apologize to all American athletes for this unforgivable mix up. We know we have tarnished our trust with them and the public. We will do anything to make sure you do not find the term ‘problematic’ and Delta to be synonymous. It would be a real shame if another doctor got dragged off a United Airways flight again. Real shame…”