The New England Patriots Canceled Afternoon Practice So The Coaching Staff Can Attend Sensitivity Training

FOXBOROUGH, MA – In recent weeks the defending AFC champs, the new England Patriots, have come under fire from players around the league for their team environment. 49ers D-End Cassius Marsh, Eagles Tackle Lane Johnson, along with teammate Brandon Brooks have all taken their shots. Well, Robert Kraft has heard these accusations loud and clear and has quickly taken action. After speaking with recently appointed CEO of Starbucks, Kevin Johnson*,

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he decided to take a page out of the coffee company’s playbook and institute sensitivity training for the coaching staff.

This morning, Head Coach Bill Belichick and his team woke up to the following agenda on their white board.

Afternoon Schedule – 6/5/18

  • 12:30 – 1:15: Hot Yoga
  • 1:15 – 1:35: Shower Time With The Guys
  • 1:40 – 2:30: Breakfast (Eggs, Turkey Bacon, Arugula, Sriracha, 50% Pulp OJ)
  • 2:30 – 4:00: Positivity Therapist, Gail Sommers – “How Does That Make US Feel?”
  • 4:00 – 4:45: Group Discussion
  • 4:45 – 5:00: Break Session
  • 5:00 – 6:00: Bullying Victim, Joel Neville – “Never Letting Go Of Middle School”
  • 6:00 – 7:00: Dinner (Eggplant Parm, Edamame, Sesame Tofu, Veggie Paella)
  • 7:00 – 8:00: Keynote Speaker – Former NFL Star, Wes Welker – “I Thought We Were Friends”

No one is sure how the coaching staff has responded at this point. Reports are that they have not left the facility and backup quarterback, Brian Hoyer, was struggling to control the players for the morning stretches.

*Kevin Johnson absolutely orders his coffee black. Stay away from Kevin Johnson.

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