Has Anyone Else Ever Thought About If The NFL Did A Fantasy Draft?

When I was a kid (and still today in my mid-20s) my favorite thing to do in a video games was create a fantasy franchise in Madden. Maybe I wanted to see what Cam Newton would look like in a Raven’s uniform. Maybe I wanted to see if I could win a Super Bowl with an all-Caucasian team, which I did accomplish by the way. I guess I knew white wide receivers was the secret formula to success way before Bill Belichick did. I just didn’t need Chad Jackson on my roster beforehand to realize it. Just sayin’. Regardless of the motivation, I’d be playing chess on draft day when everyone else was playing checkers. Through that, I always thought “if the NFL ever got bad enough for viewers, this would surely be a way to bring some back.” Granted, I never thought that day would come, but after week 2 of the preseason in which we’ve seen undrafted rookies receive more penalties than ACL tears, I think the day of reckoning has finally arrived.

I think it would save the league. Imagine the grudge match of Aaron Rodgers on the Bengals facing off against Green Bay after they opted for the younger talent in Deshaun Watson. Brady would absolutely play till 50 after Belichick brings Jimmy Garoppolo back where he’s wanted him all along. We’d get to be graced with retired Marshawn Lynch again after Jon Gruden passes over him to foolishly draft John Kuhn in an attempt to resurrect Mike Alstott. I’d also like to imagine Jeff Fisher would be brought back into the fold where he’d inexplicably draft Kenny Britt as the first receiver taken off the board. The possibilities are endless. Scale back to the bigger picture and it would reinvigorate every fan base in the league. Every bad team, of which there are like 28, would have hope that this complete change of scenery would bring a change in fortune.

Plus Roger Goodell would get some much needed face saving. This would be his chance to show the league that he’s just “one of the guys.” He could host the draft and have all the coaches over to his newly renovated man cave, stocked with a fresh keg of Chardonnay and a 18 pack of gluten free IPAs. He’d buy a football shaped pinata, because who could turn that down. And don’t forget the apps; buffalo chicken sliders made with real buffalo, caviar, goat cheese pizza. Maybe he’d show the guys how he’s actually cool by buying some weed from the stoner neighbor kid next door. Unfortunately, he’d be viewed as a narc and they’d immediately find out it’s an 8th of oregano open opening (which they’d realize is actually a great topping for the pizza). You can’t win em all, I guess. But I digress.

In an attempt to protect their own players/their own hides in future legal hearings, the future of the sport, and fans content with the content (good luck reading that one the first time through), the league is ironically doing so at the expense of their longevity. These changes in game-play have been slowly established for years and do not seem to be slowing down. This change will save the league. Thank god I was here to suggest it.

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