Ryan Fitzpatrick Is The Most Accomplished Harvard Alumni Of All Time, All Things Considered

First things first, apologies to about 70% of survivor pool players who undoubtedly took New Orleans as their team for Week 1. I don’t think there’s one person outside of Mrs. Fitzpatrick and some sad Jets fan in Secaucus that saw Fitzmagic pulling that performance out of his ass. I’m sometimes shocked this guy is still on a roster year in and year out. I feel like he causes more fans to scratch their heads than he does to his own neck when he’s growing his beard out. Alas, here we are. And, honestly, the most impressive part of this story isn’t that he’s still playing, playing well, or winning games. It’s that he had a better performance yesterday than he did in his first career game. You definitely don’t remember it, and I can’t find a video, but long story short is as a rookie 7th round pick of the St. Louis Rams, Fitz came in during the second quarter down 24-3. What ensued was a 300+ yard, 3 TD performance that ended with a 33-27 OT win. I remember he was the hot commodity in the fantasy waiver wire that next week, and everyone was forever disappointed. This instance has become cyclical in his career. One interstellar game followed by everything you’d expect from a 7th round IVY Leaguer. Despite this, he still has a job in the hyper competitive NFL. I think it’s safe to say that Ryan Fitzpatrick is the most accomplished alumni to come out of Harvard University. Don’t believe me? Let’s look at the tape.

Example 1) Barack Obama


Barack Hussein Obama. Lawyer, Senator, 44th President of the United States, and first one of African-American decent. Impressive, I’ll give you that. But the thing about the real world is that it’s all about connections. People who can help pave the way for you to get your foot in the door. In this case, it’s safe to say that he had a lot of help from having the likes of John F. Kennedy and Franklin Delano Roosevelt in the White House before him. Let’s be honest, with those two, the bar is set so low for what a “good job” is. All you have do is be able to stand up for something and your better than FDR, or just have a good head on your shoulders and you’ll blow away JFK. Think about that one for a second.

Example 2) Natalie Portman


Natalie Portman is an Oscar Winning actress due to her breath-taking performance in Black Swan. A film known best for validating every sexual fantasy had by Star Wars fans from 1999 to 2011. Her education at Harvard has been well documented, and something that is always talked about. Listen, when you are constantly surrounded by the statement, “and you know he/she went to Harvard,” I think it takes away from your legitimacy. I’ve never heard Fitz’ alma mater become a point of reference, and for that, he should be rewarded.

Example 3) Ted Kaczynski


If we learned one thing from Ted Kaczynski, it’s that a job is more likely to be accomplished the less people you get involved. Just ask his brother. With this in mind, Fitzpatrick continues to win games despite the fact he has 10 others around him trying their hardest to ruin it for him. I know I’m right. You can’t tell me the New York Jets actually work toward a common goal.

I’m sure there are more examples, but I think I’ve made my point.

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