Hot Take: Sean McDermott and Nathan Peterman Need To Become Satanists

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Talk about putting the “HOT” in hot take, am I right? For those that are unaware, McDermott and Peterman are HUGE God guys. They love him. They’ve read all the books; From the classics like Job and Deuteronomy to the newer, edgier stuff like Mark and Matthew. You name it, they’ve read it. As a result of their fandom, they’ve become the type to mold their lives around him. Similar to what I’ve done with Zach Braff in “Scrubs” or what my boss, I assume, has done with Mussolini (Hitler was a little harsh). When you admire someone, you adopt their traits, it’s natural. But I digress. Some call it religious, some call it crazy, I call it… well yeah I call it a little crazy. But that’s neither here nor there. The point is they’re faithful folk. Their faith, paired with their platform in the NFL, gives them the opportunity to let us know that everything they have in this life is through the grace of God. God is the reason for the success in their life. Can’t blame them either. Making it to NFL head coach and NFL Quarterback is as blessed as it gets. But what if that blessing has run its course? I mean look at these career numbers for Nathan Peterman:

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Let’s just say if he were walking on a beach, and there was only one set of footprints, they’re 100% his, and he needs to get some sunscreen. McDermott, meanwhile, isn’t fairing so well in the early goings of the season. After making the playoffs for the first time in 20 years for the Bills, McDermott did the logical thing and released the quarterback that got them there in Tyrod Taylor. The same quarterback he benched in favor of Peterman last season. Anyone who watched that game knows the story, Peterman throws 5 first half picks, gets benched, we laughed, and that should’ve been the end of it. But like their savior, Peterman rose again last week as a starter, then disappeared just as quickly.

It’s time to ask the question, has God stopped helping these two? I think the answer is unequivocally yes. They sure as hell didn’t get these jobs off skill. I mean maybe, MAYBE, this was an Abraham/Isaac situation. Like God told Sean McDermott to lead Nathan Peterman to the mountaintop that is the position of NFL starting quarterback, with no chance of him coming back alive, to test his loyalty. Maybe, I wasn’t there, but I think it’s unlikely.

So if God isn’t gonna help these guys, who can? I’ll tell you who…

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I know the price of accepting help from the guy is high, giving away your soul and all, but they’ve already done that with Roger Goodell, so how bad can it be? And I’ll tell you what, it certainly wouldn’t hurt to have him around during the Buffalo winters. Those balls get slick in the cold,  don’t forget that.

In all honesty, what could it hurt? Would you rather go down as the worst quarterback ever or go down to hell to avoid that? I think we all know the answer here.

Hey Lucifer, you got yourself a God damned deal!

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