“Friday Night Lights” Is A Bad Show

“You mean that show that went off the air like 7 years ago?”

Yes. Football is over now and, if you haven’t noticed, that’s about the only thing I can talk about.

Back in college I finally watched this show after being pressured by a roommate and girls I was trying to hook up with. Well, the latter wasn’t pressuring me per se, I just overheard them talk about it a lot when I was in class, the dining hall, their closet, etc. I love football, I think the movie is the best sports flick of all time, so why not. Boy, was I wrong. Let’s see why.

1) Jason Street Is A Loser With No Friends

This goes back to the very first episode. Remember the scene where Jason, Riggins, and Lyla are sitting around the fire? It was when they dropped the second most used line in the show.

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It was a great scene. The star quarterback, his best friend, and his sweetheart experiencing the happiness in the moment that we all took for granted when we were young.

But then Season 2 happened… then Season 3, and Riggs and Lyla were still in High School. That’s when I realized that whole scene was a sham. Jason Street hung out with the Sophomores. What. The Fuck.

I’d argue he’s a creep, but that’s not the case. Get it anyway you can, I guess. But I want you think about High School. How many peers spent their weekends with people two years below them? You’re just asking for four years of refilling your parents vodka handles with water. It’s social suicide, and a glaring look into how cool Jason Street was.

Until Baker Mayfield comes out and says this is normal, or Jason beats me in a foot race, he will never have my respect.

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2. Matt Saracen Has No Business Being A Wide Receiver

There’s no video of the scene so I’ll explain it. In Season 3, Saracen loses QB1 to up-and-coming Freshman JD McCoy, stripping him of his pride. One night while at Coach Taylor’s house for dinner, he convinces Coach to let him try out for Wide Receiver.

They tryout is on the cul de sac (did you know that was a three word French phrase? Me neither).

Matt had to run 10 routes and catch every ball Coach Taylor throws at him. He succeeds, kind of, considering Coach Taylor gave him a freebie on the final one, which fell incomplete.

Here’s my issue: This is TEXAS football. Matt Saracen is a 5’7 170lb pocket passer. That body type and athleticism doesn’t translate and now you expect me to believe he’s capable of starting? For reference, I was 6’0 180lb dump, and the only time I saw the field was when I hugged my parents during homecoming pregame.

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Secondly, if you respect the game of football at all, you know that you catch a ball with  your hands, not the body. All 10 9 catches slammed into the kid’s rib cage. Pathetic.

Lastly, there is no way the arm of a 45 year old football coach is comparable to a Freshman star. Imagine if Dabo Swinney subbed himself in for Trevor Lawrence during the natty. It’d be a disaster, and Clemson would face sanctions for playing someone who receives a paycheck.

3) They Didn’t Make “Smash” Williams Mom The Star Of The Show

One of my favorite stories from in show business is the creation of Breakin Bad’s Jesse Pinkman. In the original script, Vince Gilligan has Jesse dying at the end of Season 1. The purpose of which was to motivate Walter White to keep selling and would assist him in turning into a “bad” guy. However, due to how well Aaron Paul performed the role, they scrapped it and kept him along for the entire ride. The ability to identify talent was a major reason this show was so great, if you ask me.

This skill did not exist in Friday Night Lights, who’s burying of this character is so severe I can’t find a single picture, GIF, or video of her. But to summarize, she was big, sassy, quick, caring, tough, moral, and potentially the love of my life. She supported her son through injury, fought him against steroid use, told Coach Taylor like it was. Then, she was gone. Season 2 ended abruptly due to the writers strike at the time, and we never saw her again.

They say NBC almost did a Dwight Schrute spinoff after The Office ended, which they scrapped. Thank god they did, as these ideas NEVER work. Just ask this guy.

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But they also say “never say never” and I can’t help but think this would have been the anomaly.

In closing. Go see the movie.

One thought on ““Friday Night Lights” Is A Bad Show

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