There’s Only One Place That Johnny Manziel Can Go Now

And its not the XFL…

Listen, we, as a society, need to stop this. We need to stop wanting to see Johnny Manziel on a football field. And please know, I’m part of the problem. I watched that one CFL game ESPN aired where he threw 4 picks in the first half. Any time you tell me Johnny Football is going to be involved, I’m at least checking my TV menu to see when channel it’s on. But it needs to stop.

No one wins here. Not us, the fan.

Not Johnny Football.

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Not Johnny First Round.


And especially not Johnny Fentynal.


If we keep asking this guy to play football, everyone involved will get hurt. We’ll get our feelings hurt watching him struggle, and he’ll hurt his body and brain playing such a barbaric sport.

Instead, he needs to take his health seriously and change his career path to something that can protect him from bodily harm and the bright lights of stardom.

I speak, of course, of the WWE. It’s the only option, really.

This is good for a few reasons.

1) We’re changing his name from Johnny Football to Johnny Fight Night. It’s electric.

2) Considering his background in domestic violence, I think the WWE will be a great place for him to learn that not all fights need to be serious.

3) The chances of mentally going off the deep end after a career in professional wrestling are slim to none. I can’t think of any.

4. It exponentially increases his chances of becoming friends with The Rock.


(what up Dak Prescott)

I think we can all agree that any company that can list “exponentially increases you chances of becoming friends with The Rock” in the benefits section of their job application is something we’d all send a resume in for.

At the end of the day, Manziel has given us a lot of good memories to look back on. Let’s repay the favor and make sure he can do the same.

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