The NFL Schedule Release Is The Bane Of My Existence

Last night was the most overrated night in American sports. The NFL Schedule Release.

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And I hate it. A lot. Even more than the NBA preseason, pitchers and catchers reporting to Spring Training, or when Dan LeBetard is on PTI.

While the rest of us are trying to focus on the NHL or Golden State Warriors Memorial Playoffs, the NFL is that annoying friend that’s begging you to change the channel just to see what’s happening on the Food Network’s Chopped. Only instead of watching someone trying to make Flamin Hot Cheeto Crusted Salmon, it’s to analyze a schedule that won’t be in play for another 5 months.

I don’t even know which couch I’ll be doing nothing on this weekend, how do you expect me to plan for this?

The NFL bombards social media with updates as if it’s CNN telling us about a hunchback who likely committed arson on a French church.

I keep thinking that last one is one of those pictures made of a million little pictures.

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But like, Tony Romo or something. But I digress.

Then the analysis comes. Experts predicting the season, your friends texting you “Dude, I think the Jet’s can go 12-4 this year.” (Looking at you, Tom) Spoiler Alert: Everyone thinks their team will go between 10-6 and 12-4. Does it matter that we have no idea what these teams will look like come September? Or the fact that injuries haven’t played out yet? No, apparently it doesn’t.

But I get it. Like I said earlier, we’re all watching other things. The NFL is an entertainment brand to it’s core, and they need to be on top of mind to succeed. Can they beat to major playoffs going on? Probably not, but literally anything will put them ahead of the MLB.

I mean, baseball can only rest on the laurels of a fake fight for so long.

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And on football’s side, you can’t count on Antonio Brown to come up with A+ material on a weekly basis.

Who do you think he is, this website?


Come on, it wasn’t that bad.

But at the end of the day, I get it. It’s a business move to release the schedule. I just wish everyone would stop acting like employees of this business and working with it.

Then again, I’m unemployed. So what do I know?

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