Training camp has started. There have been run of the mill storylines about undrafted rookies becoming stars in practice, kicking competitions that aren’t really competitions, O-Lineman catching punts to give everyone a day off, injuries,
and so on.
It’s been fun.
But, as I said, these stories happen every year. I really haven’t felt the need to write about them because of how repetitive they are.
But this one caught my eye.
But here’s the bullet point breakdown.
- Detroit Lions WR, Danny Amendola, used to date model Olivia Culpo
- They broke up and Danny went on one of the most bizarre social media rants I’ve seen. The jist of it was “I’m fine guys. I’m totally fine. You’re the one that’s not fine. Did I mention I used to fuck Olivia Culpo? I’m fine.”
- Carolina Panthers RB Christian McCaffrey started dating Olivia Culpo, Danny’s ex.
- Danny posted a pic with a girl named Brook Petit, who turns out to be Christian McCaffrey’s ex (on the right).
Some people called it hilarious. It is.
Some people call it petty. It REALLY is.
I call it downright terrifying.
That right there is a man with nothing to lose. All shame is gone, all self-awareness is gone, all logic is gone.
That, or he’s been concussed so much that his brain is back to the same level of development it was when he was in High School.
It’s just clear the guy is a little unhinged.
And it’s not gonna stop here. Sure, this is a seemingly innocent pic, but what’s next? He’s a spurned lover with a temper.
It’ll start with overly aggressive couple posts referring to her as “Boo” or “My world” or worse, “This one.”
Next will be an incredibly premature proposal, likely in Vegas, Ibiza, or (God forbid) New Orleans with the caption “I never knew love until I knew you.”
A month later, TMZ will announce that they divorced. And everyone will think, “well… yeah.”
And that’s when it’ll get bad.
In a continued mission to prove how much he’s moved on from Olivia Culpo, he’ll accept a call from the executives at ABC. The Bachelor’s ratings have been slipping lately, and they need a notable face. They want Danny.
He tells them he needs to sleep on it, but he already knows the answer.
He’ll accept and look for love, while making sure to make out with a girl on camera at every opportunity.
Disgusting. No one is safe.
Meanwhile, Olivia and Christian will take things slow. Olivia understands the demanding life of an athlete and will be willing to wait for the next step. Christian, grateful for his girlfriends support, will be loyal, responsible, and supportive of her career in return.
And they’ll live happily ever after.