The Giants Are Undefeated In The Preseason. This Is Bad.

Sorry to be the one to puncture your boners, Giants fans, but this winning streak is bad. Very bad. I’m terrified right now. All I can do is try to breathe.


See, as nice as it is to open up my Bleacher Report app and see this

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and this

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I have to be realistic about things.

Team’s that go 4-0 in the preseason always fail when it really counts.

I remember this happened to the Oakland Raiders in 2007 and their fanbase was as excited as then coach, Lane Kiffin, is when he finds out it’s college night at the bar he’s in.

Screen Shot 2019-08-23 at 12.15.31 PM.png

Well, they went 4-12. And Kiffin was fired in the middle of 2008.


Or, more recently, the 2017 Browns.

Screen Shot 2019-08-23 at 12.21.14 PM.png

Look at that. These aren’t your… well your Cleveland Browns anymore. This is the new Cleveland Browns. Rookie Deshone Kizer is going to lead them to a better tomorrow. Buckle the fuck up.

And then…

Screen Shot 2019-08-23 at 12.24.14 PM.png

And then coach Hue Jackson was fired in the middle of 2018. Deshone Kizer? Yeah he was traded after the season.


History repeats itself. It just does. Politics, Disney movies, my using most of the cell phone data on my family plan, football. Nothing is safe from repitition. It’s just the world we live in. And I’ll be damned if I let the New York Giants set themselves up for failure.

The way that I see it there are two options:

1. Throw the game. If you get the ball first, the first play is to snap the ball to the quarterback, have him turn around, and launch it directly out of your own endzone. Then do that every single play.

2. If they don’t do that. I think the only logical option is for me to call in a bomb threat to the stadium.

Why? Because I love my team and will to anything I can to help them win. Also because the amount of clicks I’m going to get from the government looking into this site after that statement is going to be HUGE. Nothing can go wrong there.giphy.gif

Like, there’s no hope to begin with. This year is NOT the Giants’ year. These wins are nice, but they don’t mean anything. Even Daniel Jones performing better than Eli isn’t something I’m putting all my stock in. Even though he is the future. But that’s different… If we win this last game, it’s OVER over.

It’s like knowing when you’re going to die. You wake up that day in a haze. Except I’m going to have to do that 16 times over the next 4 months. God dammit.

Don’t hurt me guys. Not like this.

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