My Dreams Are About To Come True

Big news out of Iran yesterday as it was announced that Iranian General Qasem Soleimani was killed in a US led strike. The fallout has led to concern, the legitimacy of which I do not know, around the potential of World War 3. Some seem scared, which I get.

Some think this is a time to make jokes, which I also get.

And one guy just got all weird and self-deprecating about it.

Chill out dude.

I, for one, am over the moon excited about the whole thing.

No, not war. Iran seems like a real sandy place and where there’s sand, there’s sun and where there’s sun, there’s sunburn. Additionally, I have to assume their cuisine isn’t in my wheelhouse. Nothing against middle eastern food. I just haven’t ordered anything away from the kids menu in my life.

So yeah, the whole thing is probably a big no-go for me.


What I’m excited for is for my dream to come true.

You see, when I was in middle school and finally realized what the NFL was, I had one goal. To play in it. But even more than that, I wanted to get drafted.

Now, due to various factors, namely my High School coach not recognizing my talents, I never received this opportunity. Hard as I tried at intramural flag football in college, scouts consistently told me this style of play would not translate to the NFL.

Now, that can all change, and in ways greater than I could’ve ever imagined. Instead of getting my name called and going to hug Roger Goodell


I get my name called by the PRESIDENT!? Who we know gives GREAT hugs.


When you shoot for the Moon, you may land among the stars… and stripes.

Now, I have to figure out what round I’d be taken in. First we have to look at my scouting report, as presented by Uncle Mel Kiper.

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  • Has never voted in an election. Soldiers are expected to be politically agnostic in order to follow orders without hesitation. Committment: A+
  • Old school guy. Prefers WWII versions of Call of Duty over Modern Warfare. Traditionalism: A-
  • Ran a 4.9 second 40 yard dash once in High School. Timed and verified by O-Line coach, Kevin Stewart, who does have severe arthritis in his fingers. Speed: B+
  • Played lacrosse goalie in High School. 80% of saves were made with his body. Toughness: A
  • Worked as a summer camp counselor for four years in college. Changed lives. Leadership: A+


  • Does not stop talking about the summer camp he worked at for four years in college. Makes people uncomfortable. Awareness: D
  • Was timed at 5.3 seconds for all 40 yard dashes after O-Line coach, Kevin Stewart, was relieved of hand-timing duties (due to the aforementioned severe arthritis in his fingers). Speed: D
  • Hasn’t benched more than 135 lbs since 2012. Continually blames a 12 year old shoulder injury for this. Strength: D
  • Somehow took algebra 3 times in High School and 1 time in College. Intelligence: C-
  • Scared of guns. Preparation: F

Overall, I think I’d be a solid 5th round selection. Not gonna wow anyone on tape but after some hard effort in basic training camp I think I could start making an impact on special teams/ops.

Can’t wait for my dreams to become a reality.


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