Grading How Terrible Of A Monster Odell Beckham Is

So LSU did it. They capped off their historical season with a historical win led by their historical quarterback, Joe Burrow, and their historically fun-to-watch coach, Ed Orgeron.


In the aftermath and celebration, a high profile alumni, who always finds himself in the crosshairs of twitter trolls, started making the rounds again for his usual antics. No, I’m not talking about Booger McFarland, which he must be thrilled about.

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I speak of none other than Odell Beckham.

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Since, he has come under fire for a few things of varying severity. The fallout has led to a typical onslaught of tweets from those who made up their mind on Odell long before LSU was even a contender. Some saying he’s an egotist who can’t help but make headlines about him, others calling him a victim of unfair scrutiny.

I’m not here to say who’s right and wrong, I’m just hear to look at each incident objectively, grade it on a scale of 1-10, and figure it out from there.

Let’s begin.

1. Interrupting Coach O In The Middle Of His Postgame Speech To The Team

I’m going to be very honest. If this upset you, you need to take a lap. This is so far from a big deal that it make’s small deals look like the Louisiana Purchase.

For the uneducated, the Louisiana Purchase was the purchase of land by Thomas Jefferson from Napolean Bonaparte of France which doubled the size of the United States and led the way for the massive economic and agricultural growth that would establish the United States of America as a global superpower. In other words, it was a really big deal. So big, they even commemorated it on the nickel once.



But back to my point. Old players speaking up in the locker room isn’t out of line. When it’s the right person, it’s usually welcomed. I remember in High School whenever the old captains came back, they’d give a speech and we’d listen intently. Hell, Jameis Winston did that and more during halftime for Florida State a few years back.

FSU ended up coming back in the second half to beat Ole Miss that night, for what it’s worth.

So, when a famous alum, who definitely has a relationship with the players on this team, who is likely a role model for a lot of these players, speaks up, it isn’t a big deal.

Severity Scale: 1.3/10

2. Handing Money Out To Players On The Field After The Game

This? Yeah, this is bad. And dumb. And tone deaf. And definitley ego driven. I want to say “how could you be so stupid to do that in front of a camera?” But he wasn’t stupid, he was purposeful. This guy is in the spotlight enough to know when a lens is on him, and he did this anyway.

Now, to be clear, I have no issue with players getting paid. Just do what everyone else does. Drop a bag and walk away.


The annoying part of this is he that doesn’t get harmed at all. His school though? He screwed them. The only time I ever made my school look dumb was when they realized how bad of a call they made in accepting me, but that was their fault. Not mine. Which I can live with.

Severity Scale: 7.4/10

3. Assaulting A Police Officer

Absolutely deplorable behavior. I couldn’t believe the audacity to pull a move like this. He deserves any and all punishments that come his way. I mean, who the FUCK would EVER try to shake down a college kid who just won the national championship in their home state because they have a cigar or a beer in the locker room? What in the world was this cop thinking when doing this?

As far as a punishment goes, a spanking is completely fair and just. This cop wants to act like a child, he’ll get punished like one. End of story.

And, seriously, I think Odell was looking out for the kid by getting the cop to refocus his attention elsewhere. Selfless move if you ask me.

And even more seriously, I don’t want to see Odell do this again though. Slapping ass can become a real slippery slope.

I mean, when faced with two options being “Spank A Cop” and “Don’t Spank A Cop,” I’m choosing the latter every single time. But that’s because I call strangers at their desk for a living. If I caught footballs, maybe I’d be open to the other option.

Severity Scale: 2.7

In conclusion, my algorithm lists Odell Beckham’s offical Severity Score at 3.8. This is nothing that should move the needle, yet it does anyway.

Odell shouldn’t worry about it though. He’ll do something else in two weeks and everyone will forget all about this.



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