Madison Bumgarner Proves Why Side Hustles Are Stupid

Just when you think things can’t get worse for the MLB…

For months, baseball has recieved a ton of scruitny around the infamous Houston Astros sign stealing scandal. Recently, it has absolutley dominated the headlines due to PR blunder after PR blunder after PR blunder.

That said, in the last week or so, the news around this has tapered off, finally giving Rob Manfred some breathing soom that he so desperately needs.


That is, of course, until Madison Bumgarner, aka “Poor Man’s John Krasinski,” got involved.

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(I’ve thought this for years and my Google searches are kind of proving me wrong, but I’m not backing down now.)

For the uninformed, Madison Bumgarner is an 4x All-Star, 3x World Series Champion pitcher who now plays for the Arizona Diamondbacks after a very successful tenure with the San Francisco Giants.

He is someone who is not unfamiliar with bizarre headlines.

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And he now adds another to his already glowing resume of abnormality.

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The Diamondbacks have handled the story well, despite being completely unaware of their new ace’s hobby, saying that he’s a grown man who’s capabale of making his own decisions responsibly. While the aforementioned ATV incident may indicate otherwise, I argue that being a part-time cowboy is much safer.

I mean how much horsepower can one horse have? Especially compared to a Yamaha?

Bumgarner hasn’t said much on the topic, understandably so, other than that he’s dissapointed that his cover as Mason “Ramsey” Saunders is blown.

While his employers seem neutral on the topic (at least publicly) I couldn’t disagree more vehemently. Big picture, Madison Bumgarner doesn’t care about baseball. It’s a shame.

Look at me, for example, I show up to my office every day four times a week with the sole purpose of doing my job, and my job only. I don’t take time out of my profession to focus on some “interest” or “passion” of mine. The last thing I think about while it work is about me. Do you really think I’d waste my, my coworkers, and employers time by trying to advance myself in a career or profession that focuses on the more creative and humorous side of life and sports? Of course not.

That’d be unprofessional.

So if I’m able to hold myself too this high of a standard, why shouldn’t I do the same of Mad Bum?

Listen, Bum. When you have a job, that’s your priority. That’s your identity now. What? You want to be an “individual?” Well there’s no “I” in “Team” and there’s no “Me, Myself” in “Individual.” That’s not a coincidence.

It’s selfish to think that you can do things that make you happy outside of, or during, work. Doing you’re job is supposed to make you happy. Stop focusing on the bull and start focusing on the ball. Rodeo has enough clowns of their own as is.


If you don’t agree, you can Buck Off.


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