I Don’t Get What Everyone Is So Upset About

So… what’s the big deal? Have people forgotten how we thought this season was going to go? Clearly they have. Just a classic case of millennial A.D.D. I guess. Remember back in the preseason when everyone and their mother was getting penalized for aggressive hits? Like if a fan’s butt brushed too hard against someones knees when shimmying to their seat, they got flagged. Or, … Continue reading I Don’t Get What Everyone Is So Upset About

Adam Vinatieri, The Kicker’s Kicker, Saved Cody Parkey’s Career This Weekend

It’s been eight days since Cody Parkey predictably ended the Chicago Bears’ season and we, as a society, haven’t really known how to handle it yet. It’s a sign of the times. Back in my day, if you missed crucial, makable kicks, you were crucified. You were kicked to the street, spit on by fans, had your jersey burned by the one guy who had … Continue reading Adam Vinatieri, The Kicker’s Kicker, Saved Cody Parkey’s Career This Weekend

Shut Up About Kyler Murray

  Stop trying to make Kyler Murray happen. Kyler Murray isn’t going to happen. Everything I’ve seen (2 Instagram posts) says “Member of the Oakland Athletics organization believes Kyler Murray will enter NFL Draft.” This is what we’re losing our minds over? This!? If we’re being realistic, the guy is coming off the last 4 months, in which he was the best football player in … Continue reading Shut Up About Kyler Murray

The Best Thing Giants Fans Can Ask For Is An Eagles Repeat

I know what you’re thinking. “If we let the Eagles win again, we’re putting the entire country at risk. Another Philly parade would reach¬†World War Z levels.” And there’s a chance you’re right, but that has to be a risk we are willing to take. Bear with me for a sec. People don’t know this, but Giants fans had just as much riding on last … Continue reading The Best Thing Giants Fans Can Ask For Is An Eagles Repeat

What Does Your Team Want For Christmas?

Bills – Universal Healthcare. Dolphins – A white Christmas. Jets – A neuralizer from Men In Black. Patriots – Tissues, for 2 reasons. 1) To dry their tears from all the hysteria two losses has brought. 2) To clean up after thinking about their ex, Jimmy Garoppolo. We’ve all been there. Bengals – A Hue Jackson Voodoo Doll. A Huedoo Doll. Browns – A Hue Jackson … Continue reading What Does Your Team Want For Christmas?

Which NFL Player Can A Fan Actually Take In A Fight?

In the last few weeks we’ve seen videos pop up that shows NFL players, specifically Jacksonville’s Leonard Fournette and LA’s Marcus Peters, getting fed up with fans and walking to the stands to square up. Which I’m a huge supporter of. When you’re at work and people are acting out of line, sometimes you have to speak up. Just the other day, a guy on … Continue reading Which NFL Player Can A Fan Actually Take In A Fight?

Can I Say The Patriots Are Fine? Or Are You All Just Going To Freak Out?

Guys, you lost two games. Holy shit. Calm the fuck down. You lost a total fluke game to¬† Miami. Yessss, I know, the Dolphins always play you hard at home. Do you know who else does? Pretty much every home team in a divisional game. And you had a bad game against the Steelers. That’s all it was. So stop reading into it. It was … Continue reading Can I Say The Patriots Are Fine? Or Are You All Just Going To Freak Out?